Heading into March, we are starting to get through the early-year doldrums. There are a few big-time movies coming out this month. One from the House of Mouse has a reported production budget north of $250 million, and another is based on an ultra-successful series of young adult novels. There’s some good entertainment to be had this month, and we’re just getting started for the year.
Week of March 2, 2012
The Lorax
The Plot: Based on the Dr. Seuss children’s book, this animated film tells the story of a 12-year-old boy must uncover the mystery of the Lorax to win the heart of the girl of his dreams.
Who’s in it? The voices of Zac Effron and Danny DeVito
Ultimate Fate: Do you remember when they made a bunch of terrible live-action Dr. Seuss films with Jim Carrey hamming it up on screen? Fortunately, that model has been scrapped in favor of animated films. It looks cute, it looks fun, and it has a family friendly save-the-earth message. It’ll do just fine.
Project X
The Plot: A couple of loser-type teenagers film an epic house party that gets way out of hand. Madness and mayhem ensue.
Who’s in it? Some real-life teenagers
Ultimate Fate: This one looks absolutely insane. This one’s gunning for Animal House levels of craziness, and judging from the trailer, it might just succeed. This one could be a hit in the frat house community for years to come.
Where I’ll be this weekend: Neither of these two does much for me. I’ll probably be catching up on and Oscar films that happen to be playing in my area.
Week of March 9, 2012
John Carter
The Plot: A Civil War veteran finds himself leading a rebellion of giant aliens against oppressors on Mars.
Who’s in it? Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Willem Defoe, Bryan Cranston
Ultimate Fate: Disney has spent a fortune on this film, so it better be successful. Parts of it look amazing, and the 3D IMAX promises to be quite the spectacle. I’m still not sure how the story works. The film is based on the Edgar Rice Burroughs serial novel A Princess of Mars. It’s taken 80 years for this film to make it to the big screen, but the story itself has influenced many of the greatest movies ever made, including Star Wars. I can’t help but wonder how original this film will look considering how much of the story has been pilfered by other works. A $250 million budget should at least give us a good show.
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
The Plot: A fisheries scientist is brought to Yemen to stock a river for salmon fishing. There’s some romance involved.
Who’s in it? Ewan McGregor, Emily Blount
Ultimate Fate: It’s a romantic comedy in March, which isn’t necessarily the best time for rom-coms. Still, McGregor and Blount have some charm about them. It’s a movie about a marine biologist (like me!) so it has that going for it.
A Thousand Words
The Plot: A smart-ass is less than honest with a guru and must pay the consequence. The next morning he finds a Bodhi tree on his property. Every word he speaks causes a leaf to fall from the tree, and when the tree runs out of leaves, he dies.
Who’s in it? Eddie Murphy
Ultimate Fate: I got bored just writing the plot. This one has been sitting around since 2008 waiting for distribution. That can’t be a good sign. This was a period when Murphy was taking high- or ridiculous-concepts and trying to morph them into comedies. There might be a few funny moments in there, but there are more likely to be more groans than laughs.
Where I’ll be this weekend: John Carter all the way. Pro tip: the awesome poster I show here is free for folks attending the midnight IMAX screening on Thursday night. Good enough for me!
Week of March 16, 2012
21 Jump Street
The Plot: Two bumbling police officers are drawn into an undercover program at a high school on 21 Jump Street looking for the supplier of a new synthetic drug that’s making the rounds.
Who’s in it? Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum
Ultimate Fate: Does anyone remember that Johnny Depp got his break as one of the officers on the tv show 21 Jump Street? This new film looks to be a straight-up comedy rather than a drama like the tv show. The trailers have looked funny enough, and I’m a fan on Hill in general. If the two leads have any chemistry at all, then this could be a fun flick.
Casa de mi Padre
The Plot: A ranchers son schemes of a way to save the ranch from a drug lord.
Who’s in it? Will Farrell
Ultimate Fate: Will Farrell has lost his mind. There’s no other explanation for it. Why else would he star in a Spanish-language, Mexican soap opera? I think Farrell is pushing the boundaries of what it means to be over the top with this film. It could be brilliant or mind-numbingly stupid, but I’m betting it will have doses of both.
Where I’ll be this week: I’ll be at 21 Jump Street hoping that Johnny Depp makes a cameo and that Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum make a good team.
Week of March 23, 2012
The Hunger Games
The Plot: A young girl is drawn into The Hunger Games, an annual competition that pits boys and girls from across the country in a massive free-for-all fight to the death.
Who’s in it? Jennifer Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth
Ultimate Fate: Huge. This will be the first massively successful film of the year. Just ask any younger girl about The Hunger Games and hers eyes will light up. Just be prepared for a twenty-minute dissertation on how like, totally awesome the books are and how cool and stuff Kat Everdeen is. The film is based on the first book in wildly popular Suzanne Collins series aimed at the slightly younger crowd. Early buzz says that the film is good, and plans are already underway to shoot the second and third parts of the series.
The Raid (limited release)
The Plot: A SWAT team gets trapped in an apartment building by a drug lord and is forced to fight its way out.
Who’s in it? Martial artists
Ultimate Fate: This movie is supposed to kick all kinds of ass. It’s based on an Indonesian fighting style called silat. This film is getting comparisons to District B:13, which popularized parkour, and Ong Bak, which popularized Thai boxing. Color me excited for a good beat ‘em up.
Where I’ll be this weekend: Watching Indonesians beat the crap out of each other.
Week of March 30, 2012
Wrath of the Titans
The Plot: Perseus goes on a dangerous mission to save Zeus from the scheming Ares and Hades.
Who’s in it? Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes
Ultimate Fate: I enjoyed the first film Clash of the Titans, which probably puts me in the minority. That one was not well received by the public, and its marginal success raised doubt that this sequel would get made. But, here we are two years later, ready for another installment. I hope that they cleaned up some of the sloppy character portrayal and 3D effects this go around. Worthington’s past couple of films have underperformed at the box office (he will forever have Avatar to fall back on) but I’m hoping against hope that Wrath of the Titans turns things around.
Mirror Mirror
The Plot: The evil queen tries to secure her control over the kingdom by offing the beautiful Snow White.
Who’s in it? Julia Roberts, Armie Hammer, Lily Collins
Ultimate Fate: There are currently two Snow White themed films in production in Hollywood, and this one is first out of the gate (Snow White and the Huntsman will be out later this year). Mirror Mirror is directed by Tarsem Singh, who is known for his visual stylings more than his storytelling abilities (The Cell, Immortals). The trailer shows some beautiful scenery, but it also features a screeching Roberts, annoying dwarves, and dumb jokes.
Goon
The Plot: A hockey player leads his semi-pro team on the ice as an enforcer, beating the crap out of everything on skates.
Who’s in it? Sean William Scott
Ultimate Fate: It’s a hockey movie comedy. Having grown up in the Deep South, I know virtually nothing about hockey (that’s the one that’s played on ice, right?). Hockey? Comedy? Why not? I’m sure somebody will watch it.
Intruders
The Plot: A faceless entity attempts to possess children while they sleep.
Who’s in it? Clive Owen
Ultimate Fate: It’s a Boogeyman film through and through. A menacing presence tries to turn children’s dreams into nightmares. It wants to take control and have them do its bidding, or it wants to punish them, or it just wants to be a jerk. Sound like a familiar setup? There’s very little buzz about this film; I can’t tell if people like it, love it, or despise it. Still, it has Clive Owen, which is a good thing, and it’s directed by the guy who did 28 Weeks Later, the decent follow-up to the excellent 28 Days Later.
Where I’ll be this week: Wrath of the Titans all the way. As I said, I enjoyed the first one. If they can clean up a few details, then this could be a good popcorn munching, semi-brainless action romp. Not a bad way to spend a Friday night.
Movie of the Month: I have to go with The Hunger Games. The book was a lightning fast read that felt very cinematic. I haven’t read many books recently that that felt like a movie transcribed onto the page. The Hunger Games has all the elements in place to make an exciting movie. John Carter should get mentioned here too. I’m not completely sold on the concept, and the trailers have left me feeling more 'meh' that 'Rock On!', but Disney spent a fortune on the movie and they can’t allow it to fail. It simply MUST be good in terms of story, visuals, or something for Disney to get their money back and save face. Not the most ringing endorsement, but I’ll see it just to see if it was $250 million well spent.
Thanks for reading the previews. I hope you find a movie in there that you like. Let me know in the comments, and while your at it follow me on Twitter!
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