Zero Dark Thirty Review

Kathryn Bigelow gets it. She understands that information is one of the most important assets in modern warfare. The whole ‘War on Terror’ is a different beast from any previous war in which the U.S. has been engaged. The enemy of today is not clearly defined. Terrorists hide. They sneak about in the dark, dangerous corners of the world, blending in with locals, waiting patiently for a weakness to exploit in the Western Machine. Information on who terrorists are, where they are located, where they will strike next, how they operate, etc. is essential to waging a successful campaign against terrorism. I would argue that obtaining information is just as important as having a well-armed strike force that is capable of storming in and taking out the threat. Bigelow has used this understanding – that information is critical – to craft one of the best modern war films with her newest feature, Zero Dark Thirty.

Obtaining actionable intelligence is not easy. It requires piecing together loose threads of information from many different sources to get the general idea. Then, it requires some sort of confirmation to make sure that the evidence is correct. Only after sifting through tons of data to build a picture, and then verifying that everything is correct, can the guys with guns go eliminate targets. It’s a lot like trying to put together a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle, except most of the pieces from the main puzzle are missing and somebody mixed in pieces of ten different other puzzles just to make the box look full.

Zero Dark Thirty tells the story of the hunt for Osama bin Laden, the greatest manhunt the United States has ever conducted. You know him as the leader of al-Qaeda and the mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks. He was known to the CIA as Geronimo.

The story is focused on Maya (Jessica Chastain), a young CIA agent full of fresh ideas and armed with a fiery personality (maybe it’s the red hair). Her job is to track down information that will lead a task force to bin Laden’s doorstep. It’s a task that took twelve years and saw her stationed in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Washington DC, and various CIA ‘Black Sites' all over the world. Her agent is a tough firebrand, so single-minded of purpose that nothing will stand in her way. She’s exactly the kind of person you want tracking down terrorists, but you would despise her as an officemate. She will go around, over, and through you to get what she wants, no matter how ridiculous her demands may seem. It’s to her benefit that she is right more often than she is wrong, or else she would just seem like a horrible person. That’s not to say she is Rambo in a miniskirt or some uber-bitch on a power trip. She really believes her fresh approach, tracking down the couriers that bin Laden uses to communicate with al-Qaeda, will work. It’s to her great credit that the threads she pieces together lead SEAL Team Six to bin Laden’s Pakistani compound.

Maya isn’t the only agent in the CIA though. Dan (Jason Clarke) is a seasoned operative who shows newbie Maya the ropes and spends a lot of time getting hard intel from terrorist suspects. He has a Ph.D. and calls detainees “bro.”  The fact that he has a Ph.D. (we aren’t told in what field of study) is telling. All of the agents are intelligent people. After a meeting to discuss the raid on bin Laden’s compound, the director of the CIA (James Gandolfini) remarks “We’re all smart.” It’s a cool acknowledgement that nobody lands that sort of job – where you are making decisions about if, when, and how to kill someone – unless you have your wits about you.

At it’s heart, Zero Dark Thirty is a police or crime procedural. Bigelow and screenwriter Mark Boal craft a great story in which every new detail, every piece of the puzzle that is assembled by the agents feels fresh, exciting, and hard-earned. It’s an incredibly well-structured and well-paced film that builds tension from start to finish. Bigelow and Boal built the film around interviews and reviews of documents – some of which may or may not include classified information – related to the raid on bin Laden’s compound. These details give the film a sense of realism and believability.

And, when the time comes to gear up and go kill bin Laden, Bigelow shows that she is one of the best at directing action sequences. The members of SEAL Team 6, led by Joel Edgerton and Chris Pratt, work methodically through the compound, picking off bad guys one by one. Bigelow knows the scene is inherently intense and avoids the urge to have soaring music and jerky camera shots. It’s refined, detailed, subtle and dramatic. 

Let’s briefly discuss torture.

The first few minutes of the film depict extreme interrogation techniques, and these scenes have generated a lot of ink in the press. Zero Dark Thirty does not glorify torture. Simply, it recognizes that the CIA used aggressive techniques to obtain information from terrorists. Ignoring that point in this movie would seem disingenuous. If anything, Bigelow handles the matter delicately and objectively. She doesn’t shy away from showing how it worked. The CIA agent’s reactions when they conduct harsh interrogations show that torture not only degrades and harms the person being interrogated, but it also affects the agents themselves. Maya can barely look at a suspect in the beginning, but once she realizes it can be an effective tool to extract information, she grudgingly accepts its use. Not to get too spoilerific, but one of the agents transfers back to Washington DC primarily because the torture aspect becomes too much to handle. It seems strange to me that a film that gets so many details right is criticized for depicting the details. 

Bigelow and Boal have crafted their second classic modern war film. Their first was, of course, The Hurt Locker, about explosive ordinance disposal officers stationed in Iraq, which earned both of them a bunch of Oscars back in 2010. Zero Dark Thirty takes the next step in their evolution as a writer/director team. It is an intense film, epic of scope, and finishes with one of the best depictions of combat depictions you are going to see unless you enlist. This is the way that military films should be made. Anybody associated with the military should see this to understand modern combat operations.

4.5 Stars out of 5

Do you think Bigelow and Boal have captured the U.S. military experience? Do you think they condone torture? Let me hear your thoughts in the comments below or on Twitter!

The giants from Jack the Giant Slayer look terrible

Normally, I blog about fun stories or cool things I come across on my daily surfing across the internet. Sometimes, however, I find something so mindbogglingly awful that I feel the need to share that too.

Today, I'm sharing something so bad that I'm surprised any of it has seen the light of day. I can't believe it's an actual thing.

Jack the Giant Slayer is coming out in a couple of months, and Warner Brothers has started putting out promotional material. Earlier this week, they released a series of character posters. You know the type. They feature large portraits or head shots of the principle characters so that you can start getting excited about seeing them in action.

Here is a character poster from Django Unchained that is effective.

Notice how Christoph Waltz looks awesome. This character poster makes you think "I can't wait to see him in another Tarantino movie!"

Apparently, nobody over at Warner Brothers realize that the point of a character poster is to generate excitement for the character. Instead, they released five character posters for the giants of Jack the Giant Slayer that look like an intern spent a few hours futzing around with Photoshop.

 

Holy crap, my eyes! Where do I begin?

For starters, lets talk character design. I realize these are giants, and that they are supposed to be ugly and scary, but the production crew has gone a bit overboard here. Scraggly hair, dirty features, eyes that don't quite align properly, busted teeth, crooked mouths, chewed off ears. Egads, those are some ugly dudes. One even apparently has a second head growing out of his neck. Too bad the camera is shoved so close to their ugly mugs that all we can see is a massive, hideous face taking up 3/4 of the poster. Cute that they named them Fee, Fye, Foe, Fumm, and Fallon. Wait. Who is Fallon?

Not only are the designs a bit too ugly, they also appear to have been rendered on an old Gateway computer circa 2002. They just look bad. I can't stand looking at them when they are still. What's going to happen when they start moving around on a theater screen?

Finally, are the giants the heroes or the villains in this film? With a title like Jack the Giant Slayer, I assume that the giants are the bad guys and that Jack is the hero. If that is the case, why on Earth would Warner Brothers focus on the villains and not the hero? Who is Jack? Is he a computer generated hideous monster as well?

Here is the first trailer for the film that was released back in November. It does nothing to make me feel better about the film's fate.

I often wonder if people associated with pictures like this realize at some point that the whole project has gone off the rails. Does the producer or director wake up one morning, slap his forehead with his palm, and think "Well, this is going to look bloody awful on my resume?" Smart people are involved in the film. It's directed by Bryan Singer who did a couple of X-Men films. I can only assume that this is a case where, despite the best efforts of a talented cast and crew, that this one simply got away from them. On the other hand, it's baffling to me that a high budget film in 2013 can wind up with with such terrible visuals.

What I'm looking at here is a complete disaster. Based on this, I can't imagine anyone thinking they need to see this film. I don't know what the budget is on this film, but I'll bet you $1 that they won't recover the budget with domestic box office.

The worst part of it all? It's coming in IMAX 3D. You will have the opportunity to see these awful mugs in the highest definition, clearest movie format available. Yikes.

Prepare yourself for March 1, 2013.

Do you think these giants look cute and cuddly? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter!

Django Unchained Review

Quentin Tarantino is one of the most talented and interesting writer/directors working in Hollywood today. He’s a man who has honed a unique filmmaking vision with some of the coolest films you’ll ever see. His name alone brings with it certain expectations of quality, and he always seems to come through.

With Django Unchained, Tarantino tackles the genre of spaghetti westerns and adds another quality film to his impressive resume.

Django Unchained is, at its heart, a love story. Yes, it’s cartoonishly hyper-violent. Sure, characters use language that would make my grandmother blush. Absolutely, some of the scenes are surprising and shocking. Yes, there are great liberties taken regarding the history of the South and the depictions of the people who lived there. Those are things that make Tarantino films, well, Tarantino films.

You know what other traits characterize Tarantino films? Smart, snappy dialog, beautiful scenery, a camera that seems to live within each character, great music that you will forever associate with that scene of the film, characters who are unique and unexpected. All of it comes together in a fantastic way to tell the story of a freed slave searching desperately across the South for his wife.

Django (Jamie Foxx) is rescued from slavery by the bounty hunter Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz). Leave it to Tarantino to name his German slave liberator Dr. King. Django partners with Dr. Schultz to search for his lovely bride, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington). Along the way, Django learns the bounty hunting business while taking on Klan-member plantation owners, armed gangs, and all manner of dangerous thugs.

Eventually, Django and Schultz learn of Broomhilda’s whereabouts and devise a rescue plan. Broomhilda is in “Candieland”, an old plantation in the heart of Mississippi that is notorious for mandingo fighting. For the uninitiated, mandingo fighting pits two large slaves in a Greco-Roman style fight-to-the-death. It’s all for the amusement of their white owners, naturally. It’s a brutal affair, and very lucrative for those who can afford it. Django and Schultz pose as a mandingo-fighting expert and a bored, rich, German investor, respectively, to get access to Candieland and have the chance to secure Broomhilda’s freedom.

Foxx and Waltz really bring these characters to life. Foxx takes complete ownership of the role of Django (the ‘D’ is silent!). He’s got swag, as the kids would say. He needs it too, since he often finds himself tossing insults at a bunch of armed white men just before he guns them down. He’s a man on a mission, and nothing is going to keep him from his wife, least of all some punks with big rifles and tiny brains. He’s not just a brainless super-warrior though. Django was a slave once, so he was never allowed to learn many things about the world.  There is a youthful enthusiasm and innocence to Django as Dr. Schultz tells stories of Germany or helps Django read wanted posters. The guy has had a hard life so far, and we just want him to find his wife, settle down, and enjoy the rest of his days, even if it means blasting through dozens of elitist white folk to get there.

Of course, Waltz won an Academy Award for his portrayal of Colonel Hans Landa in Tarantino’s last film, Inglourious Basterds and has secured another Best Supporting Actor nomination for his work here. In Waltz, Tarantino has a rock solid actor whose skill with language allows him to merge seamlessly from English to German to French. Waltz is amazing not only because he knows so many languages, but also because he knows how language itself is used. His speech can sometimes be fluffy or flowery with million dollar words that require a thesaurus to understand, but Waltz gives his words a singsong or rhythmic quality that allows him to pull it off. For kicks, imagine Gerard Butler reading some of Schultz’ lines. He’d sound like a complete doofus. When Waltz says those things, it makes Schultz likeable.

Unfortunately for Django and Waltz, Candieland is owned by Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio), a bored, rich, powerful, and petulant man who inherited the massive plantation from his daddy. His life is so sheltered and automatic that he has long since handed off the day-to-day operations of the plantation. Now he expounds on his ridiculous theories of the negro and manages his mandingo fights. He’s snide and smarmy and overly proud. He can be angry and nasty when he’s not getting his way, and he can be exuberant and showy when he’s talking about something he enjoys. He's a spoiled brat, basically. DiCaprio does wonders with the character.

The most important person in Candieland, however, is Stephen. He keeps everyone in line, slave and white man alike, so that Candieland runs like a well-oiled machine. Nothing happens without Stephen’s knowledge. Samuel L. Jackson’s portrayal of the top slave in the plantation is spectacular. Jackson brought his A-game on this one. Whenever he’s on screen you can’t take your eyes off the sneaky bastard.

Tarantino is able to bring each of these characters to life in the most unexpected ways. Who is the most ruthless person in Candieland? Not Calvin, the owner of the place and presumed “boss”. Not any of his henchmen and hired muscle armed to the teeth with pistols and rifles. Stephen, himself a slave, is absolutely the most fearsome guy around. Who is the most compassionate person in the film? Not Django, who is willing to do anything necessary to save his wife and goes all-in as a black slaver. It’s Dr. Schultz, the bounty hunter. A man who kills other people and sells their bodies to the law. Even Schultz’ horse, Fritz, has personality. He gives a little bow every time Schultz introduces him. You don’t expect such detailed characters, but you enjoy it when you see it.

There are many great things I could say about Django Unchained. It’s one of the most entertaining films of 2012 (No, really. I put it at #3 on my Top 10 of 2012 list). From the great little moments peppered throughout the film, to the great music, to the cool cinematic flourishes, to the final epic conclusion, Django Unchained never disappoints. In fact, it’s the type of film that gets better on repeated viewings. The second time I saw it, I was able to get into the flow of the film and roll along with the great story that Tarantino had prepared. It’s definitely worth the trip to the theater to catch such an epic and fantastic film.

4.5 Stars out of 5

Are you a fan of Tarantino’s latest masterpiece? Are you offended by geysers of fake blood and prolific use of the ‘n’ word? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter!

Texas Chainsaw 3D sequel sadly coming

I will admit that I paid for a ticket to see Texas Chainsaw 3D over the weekend, so I feel partly responsible for this next bit of news.

Apparently, a lot of other people suffered through the abysmal TC3D over the weekend too. It opened at #1 during its first weekend, bringing in a tidy $21 million for Lionsgate. Not bad for a film with an estimated budget of only $20 million. Every bit of box office success from here on out is just gravy.

But seriously, don’t go see it. Boring kills and a huge tonal shift halfway through make TC3D a pain to watch (my review).

Despite my warnings, and the negative reviews of other press members, a lot of people will continue to go see TC3D.  The simple fact is that it’s the only horror film in theaters right now, and it’s a brand people recognize. The result of this success for a terrible horror film is a green light for another terrible horror film. Lionsgate has officially hit the go button on the sequel. 

It’s unclear if the Texas Chainsaw 3D 2 will pick up right after the end of TC3D, but producer Carl Mazzocone, and eight executive producers from TC3D are on board for the sequel. With that group all coming back together, and likely star Alexandra Daddario as well (admittedly the best part of TC3D), it seems likely that they are looking to make a true sequel. In fact, that group has the rights to make 6 more Texas Chainsaw films if they so desire.

They will start filming in a few months with an eye toward and early 2014 release date.

Personally, I’ll be avoiding the sequel unless they show me they are serious about making Leatherface a scary guy again. He’s a simple-minded man-child with a compulsion to protect his family with extreme measures of violence. That should be scary. Adding ‘Massacre’ back to the title would help. Or, they could name it Texas Chainsaw 4D. I’d pay to see that.

Did you drop a dime to see TC3D this weekend and regret it? Do you want to see a sequel to that boring tripe? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter!

Django Unchained Action Figures

Did you love Django Unchained? Silly question, I know. I think that everyone who saw it enjoyed Quentin Tarantino’s latest film. It’s well written with a great story and fantastic dialog, is peppered with brutal violence, and is, at times, genuinely hilarious. If you’re a Tarantino fan, then you have every reason to love Django Unchained.

 

A better question is: would you like to create your own stories with Tarantino’s great characters?

Tarantino assembled a great cast of characters for Django Unchained. Django, Dr. King, Candie, and Stephen are four classics that I love. And Fritz, Dr. King’s horse who bows politely when introduced. I liked him too. The fact that these four human characters were played by talented actors Jaime Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Samuel L. Jackson, respectively, means that the characters really popped on the big screen.

Thanks to the guys at Neacaonline, you can get your hands on action figures for six different characters from the film. In addition to the aforementioned four characters, you can get Broomhilda (gotta have a damsel in distress) and Butch.

The figures are 8” tall and come complete with tailored clothing and a variety of authentic weapons and accessories. Fancy. You can get them through Amazon, though getting all six might dent your wallet. Prices currently range from $30 for Stephen to $55 for Django.

Have fun!

Will you be staging shootouts in your backyard or imagining mandingo fights with these action figures? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter.

Texas Chainsaw 3D Review

Texas Chainsaw 3D tries to do something fresh and original in a series that has had five sequels since the 1974 original, but halfway through it loses what little steam it ever mustered and stumbles weakly across the finish line.

Texas Chainsaw 3D is a direct sequel to the original, but it advances the timeline up to the present day. The film opens in the immediate aftermath of Tobe Hooper’s classic and shows a lynch mob eradicating the entire Sawyer clan, those devils who harbored Leatherface for all those years. Well, the mob isn’t entirely successful as they gun down and/or burn everyone except for Leatherface and a baby.

Twenty years later, we find that the baby has been raised far away from the Sawyer homeland by a couple involved in the mob. She doesn’t know anything about her family history until she unexpectedly learns she has inherited a mansion down in Texas. Cue a road trip with her friends.

Heather Sawyer (the impossibly cute Alexandra Daddario; it’s her eyes) and her cannon-fodder buddies arrive in the Sawyer mansion and within a few hours unleash a pissed off Leatherface to rampage the countryside. He picks off Heather’s dumb friends in largely uncreative ways. I don’t mind about the loss of her companions; they were such flat and uninteresting characters that their loss is no big deal. They were only in the film to increase the body count. At the least, director John Luessenhop could have made their final moments interesting. Instead, we get kills that are recycled from the first film or are only mildly scary. 

Part of the fun of horror films is to see how creative filmmakers can be in setting up the kill. One of the reasons the Final Destination films are so fun is because of the elaborate and unexpected ways Death comes for each character. In Texas Chainsaw 3D, we get familiar, boring retreads of kills we've seen before.

At the halfway point of the film, Texas Chainsaw 3D actually tries to do something different. See, those evil people in the lynch mob who massacred the Sawyer clan now run the local town. They are hell bent on finishing off the Sawyers, so when they realize Heather is a survivor of that bloodline, they set their sights on killing her. Heather is left with a choice, try to convince the locals that she isn’t evil and help them bring her lunatic, chainsaw-wielding cousin to justice, or side with the maniac.

Turning the tables so that Leatherface is a victim, after we've seen him hack a half dozen people apart, including multiple attempts on Heather? It's a dumb turn of events that kills the last half of the film.

I like the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Tobe Hooper created a small film that tapped into some deep fears. Namely, the fact that a monster like Leatherface could exist and that his family would go to great lengths to protect him. It begged the question: what real life monsters are being protected by their families? Could a maniac be living down the street from me?

None of the sequels have come close to that combination of brutality and resonance, including Texas Chainsaw 3D. It becomes more and more clear with every one of these sequels and reboot attempts that Hooper captured lightning in a bottle back in 1974. Texas Chainsaw 3D simply isn’t entertaining or meaningful enough to stand out. Even when it attempts a fresh wrinkle, it misses the point completely. It is a flat, unimaginative, and mostly forgettable experience. Too bad. I’d love to see another quality Texas Chainsaw Massacre film one day.

2 out of 5 Stars

Are you upset that they dropped the 'Massacre' from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter!

A very bloody Evil Dead trailer

There are a few major horror movies coming out in 2013, including a couple of remakes, the inevitable Paranormal Activity follow-up, and a sequel or two.

One of the remakes, Carrie, was recently pushed back to an October 18, 2013 release to capitalize on Halloween. That puts it a week before Paranormal Activity 5, so MGM must think they have a pretty good horror film on their hands. I suppose we will hear more about those later in the year.

We won't have to wait until October to catch the other major horror remake of 2013. Evil Dead, about the evil Book of the Dead, an ancient tome that more or less opens the gates of hell, will be coming to us on April 12. The original Sam Raimi film from 1981 starred Bruce Campbell and was criticized for being too violent. Fortunately, the producers of Evil Dead (2013) decided NOT to remake the original as a lame PG-13 snoozefest. That was nice of them. Instead, they embraced the gore and are looking to push things as far as they can for a hard R rating.

Don't take my word for it though; check out the latest trailer for yourself. It's red band, so you probably don't want to watch it in your office cubicle.

Ouch. That looks brutal. Unbelievably brutal. I wouldn't be surprised if the MPAA ratings board puts up a fight on this film. Some of that might wind up on the cutting room floor. Even adults might have a hard time stomaching seeing a girl slice her tongue in half with a knife. Or cutting off an arm with an electric fillet knife. I mean, I dig it, and I'll be there opening weekend. I just worry that the rest of you wimps might get your panties in a wad.

Think the gallons if blood being sprayed around in this trailer is too much? Let me know in the message boards or on Twitter!