Saturday, January 26, 2013

The Last Stand Review


Arnold Schwarzenegger is headlining an action film for the first time since Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, which was released in theaters in July 2003. After serving as governor of California for eight years, some question his ability to carry an action film. He’s pushing retirement age and had a desk job for a decade. Will he be able to lead an action film again?

Based on The Last Stand, the new film in which he stars alongside Johnny Knoxville, Luis Guzmรกn, and Jaimie Alexander, the answer is – kinda.


Schwarzenegger picked a tame film for his return. The Last Stand is an action film only because it can’t really be classified as a comedy, drama, or any other genre. It’s got a few gun battles, a prison breakout, and some fisticuffs, so I guess it qualifies as action. But, you’ll see more action, comedy, and drama in films like 21 Jump Street and 30 Minutes or Less. Arnold isn’t asked to do much in this one, and when he does, it’s clear that he will have to shake off some rust to get back to action superstar form.

Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega), a ruthless drug lord, escapes a high security prison and makes a run for Mexico. He’s piloting a prototype Corvette that can run 250+ mph in the dark with its lights out, and he’s outrunning the Feds. He’ll get away unless a small town sheriff and a handful of locals stop him before he crosses the border.

Schwarzenegger plays Ray Owens, the sheriff of Sommerton Junction who moved to the quiet crossroads town from LA after a drug bust gone bad. His peaceful life is shaken when Cortez and his professionally trained and heavily armed henchmen come blasting through town. Owens, his deputies, and a few locals he deputizes prepare for a standoff with the cartel and then unload everything they have to stop the drug leader from getting into Mexico.

The action is passable but not spectacular. Car chases, shootouts, explosions, fistfights. They are all in the film, but good luck trying to remember any cool scenes when you leave the theater. The Last Stand is too tame and predictable to be really enjoyable.


The most interesting character in The Last Stand isn’t Schwarzenegger’s. It’s Johnny Knoxville who plays eccentric local Lewis Dinkum. Actually, eccentric is maybe too light a word to describe Dinkum. He’s absolutely insane. I imagine that The Last Stand director Jee-woon Kim, making his first Hollywood film after building a successful career in Korea, told Knoxville to go nuts. How else would you explain Knoxville running around with an iron shield and Conquistador helmet while firing a hand-cannon pistol? His manic energy and utter insanity bring a little life to the film.

The Last Stand could have used more zaniness like Dinkum. Everyone else in the film, Schwarzenegger included, are flat, one-dimensional characters. The action is bland, and the story is basic. While it is good to see Schwarzenegger back on screen, it’s clear that he has a lot of work to do if he wants to be an action star again. By making his return in light fluff like The Last Stand, maybe he can work out the kinks and remember what it means to be Arnold Schwarzenegger again. He’s already talking about starring in new entries in the Conan the Barbarian and Terminator franchises, so he’ll have to bring his A game soon enough. 

2.0 out of 5 Stars

Are you excited to see Arnold back on screen? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter!

No comments:

Post a Comment