The giants from Jack the Giant Slayer look terrible

Normally, I blog about fun stories or cool things I come across on my daily surfing across the internet. Sometimes, however, I find something so mindbogglingly awful that I feel the need to share that too.

Today, I'm sharing something so bad that I'm surprised any of it has seen the light of day. I can't believe it's an actual thing.

Jack the Giant Slayer is coming out in a couple of months, and Warner Brothers has started putting out promotional material. Earlier this week, they released a series of character posters. You know the type. They feature large portraits or head shots of the principle characters so that you can start getting excited about seeing them in action.

Here is a character poster from Django Unchained that is effective.

Notice how Christoph Waltz looks awesome. This character poster makes you think "I can't wait to see him in another Tarantino movie!"

Apparently, nobody over at Warner Brothers realize that the point of a character poster is to generate excitement for the character. Instead, they released five character posters for the giants of Jack the Giant Slayer that look like an intern spent a few hours futzing around with Photoshop.

 

Holy crap, my eyes! Where do I begin?

For starters, lets talk character design. I realize these are giants, and that they are supposed to be ugly and scary, but the production crew has gone a bit overboard here. Scraggly hair, dirty features, eyes that don't quite align properly, busted teeth, crooked mouths, chewed off ears. Egads, those are some ugly dudes. One even apparently has a second head growing out of his neck. Too bad the camera is shoved so close to their ugly mugs that all we can see is a massive, hideous face taking up 3/4 of the poster. Cute that they named them Fee, Fye, Foe, Fumm, and Fallon. Wait. Who is Fallon?

Not only are the designs a bit too ugly, they also appear to have been rendered on an old Gateway computer circa 2002. They just look bad. I can't stand looking at them when they are still. What's going to happen when they start moving around on a theater screen?

Finally, are the giants the heroes or the villains in this film? With a title like Jack the Giant Slayer, I assume that the giants are the bad guys and that Jack is the hero. If that is the case, why on Earth would Warner Brothers focus on the villains and not the hero? Who is Jack? Is he a computer generated hideous monster as well?

Here is the first trailer for the film that was released back in November. It does nothing to make me feel better about the film's fate.

I often wonder if people associated with pictures like this realize at some point that the whole project has gone off the rails. Does the producer or director wake up one morning, slap his forehead with his palm, and think "Well, this is going to look bloody awful on my resume?" Smart people are involved in the film. It's directed by Bryan Singer who did a couple of X-Men films. I can only assume that this is a case where, despite the best efforts of a talented cast and crew, that this one simply got away from them. On the other hand, it's baffling to me that a high budget film in 2013 can wind up with with such terrible visuals.

What I'm looking at here is a complete disaster. Based on this, I can't imagine anyone thinking they need to see this film. I don't know what the budget is on this film, but I'll bet you $1 that they won't recover the budget with domestic box office.

The worst part of it all? It's coming in IMAX 3D. You will have the opportunity to see these awful mugs in the highest definition, clearest movie format available. Yikes.

Prepare yourself for March 1, 2013.

Do you think these giants look cute and cuddly? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter!