The 2012 film year may have already dealt it’s biggest card
with The Avengers, which came out in
early May. That film is cruising its way into the number three spot on the list
of highest grossing films of all time as we speak. It should surpass the
domestic total of The Dark Knight,
which currently is sitting at $533 million, in the coming weekend. It’s not
clear if The Avengers has the muscle
to crack the James Cameron stranglehold at the top of the charts. It has a long
way to go to reach Titanic’s $658
million or Avatar’s $760 million. Still,
settling down at #3 all-time is pretty snazzy. The Avengers has set a high bar for the rest of the summer films.
While few films in the rest of 2012 are likely to make The Avengers money, there are some great
looking films coming out in the next few months that are certain to entertain.
The month of June contains a cool-looking reinterpretation
of a beloved fairy tale, a live-action film from the creator of Family Guy, and a new Pixar film. It
also contains my most-anticipated film of 2012, Ridley Scott’s revisit to the
world of Alien.
Week of June 1, 2012
Snow White and the Huntsman
The plot: The Evil Queen orders the Huntsman to track down
and kill the beautiful Snow White. Instead, the Huntsman sides with Snow White
in a rebellion.
Who’s in it? Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, Charlize
Theron
Ultimate Fate: This appears to be a telling of Snow White by
way of Lord of the Rings. I like that idea. It looks grim and gritty and
violent – which is to say, quite different from the 1937 Disney cartoon. The
trailers have looked promising, and early reviews are great.
Piranha 3DD (limited release)
The plot: Those silly piranhas are up to no good again, this
time chowing down on some kids at a water park. Oh my!
Who’s in it? Danielle Panabaker is the headliner so I guess
she survives. David Hasselhoff as himself
Ultimate fate: It will be even dumber than the first one,
but I think that’s the point. This movie wants to up the stupid factor to the
highest degree possible, all in the name of creating mayhem with the fish. If
fish-on-people violence, gratuitous nudity, ‘The Hoff”, and a complete lack of
story are your thing, then this film is for you.
Where I’ll be this weekend: Even though I study marine
biology, I hate wasting my time with stupid movies, so Piranha 3DD is out. I’ll be watching Snow White and the Huntsman for some epic fantasy battles and to
bask in Charlize Theron’s beauty.
Week of June 8, 2012
Prometheus
The plot: Space explorers visit a mysterious planet to learn
about the origins of life on Earth. Instead, they become embroiled in a fight
with aliens to determine the fate of human civilization.
Who’s in it? Michael Fassbender, Noomi Rapace, Idris Elba,
Guy Pearce, Charlize Theron
Ultimate fate: This is my most anticipated film of 2012 by
far. This film began as a prequel to Alien
and was soon transformed by director Ridley Scott and company into something
slightly different. As it sits now, the movie tells a unique origin story set
on the Alien home world. The trailers have looked amazing (the IMAX trailer was
my favorite part of watching Men in Black
III, and I liked MIB3), and the
artwork I’ve seen so far has been beautiful. This looks like a proper sci-fi
film. Given the talent involved, I expect it to be a great experience.
Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted
The plot: Our loveable zoo critters are trying – still – to
make it back to New York City. This time they find themselves sidetracked in
Europe. They join a traveling circus in a bid to find passage back home.
Who’s in it? The voices of Ben Stiller, Jada Pikett Smith,
Chris Rock, David Schwimmer
Ultimate fate: The previous Madagascar films have been
hot-and-cold affairs with some pieces that worked very well and other pieces that
fell flat. I’ve enjoyed them, but I find them to be inconsistent family
comedies. I hope that Madagascar 3 can even out that experience and be great
throughout.
Where I’ll be this weekend: Prometheus, Prometheus, Prometheus! I’m trying hard to keep my
expectations down for this film, but it looks so good.
Week of June 15, 2012
Rock of Ages
The plot: A young guy and gal on Sunset Strip in the glory
days of the 1980s try to rock out.
Who’s in it? Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Paul Giamatti
Ultimate fate: A musical set on the Sunset Strip of the
1980s? What? The Sunset Strip was ground zero for the hair metal explosion that
defined the decade of the 80s. Turning that era into a glammed up Broadway
musical is both inspired and laughable. The flashiness of the times seems to
fit the mold for a musical, but watching a dance troupe prance around to “Pour
Some Sugar on Me” is almost too absurd to be real.
That’s My Boy
The plot: A slacker dad tries to reconnect with the son he
fathered while still a teenager on the eve of his son’s wedding.
Who’s in it? Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg
Ultimate fate: Adam Sandler has been making movies for a
long time and has carved out a distinct comedy style for himself. You know what
you’re getting in an Adam Sandler movie. It will be silly, absurd, a little
gross and off color. It will also have a nice, happy conclusion. The inclusion
of Andy Samberg is promising. He’s a fine actor and is capable of pulling off
comedy as well as drama. This film looks more promising than Sandler’s last
film, Jack and Jill.
Where I’ll be this weekend: Can I see Prometheus again? Neither of these new films do much for me.
Week of June 22, 2012
Brave
The plot: A young princess is determined to find her own
path in life and sets off a chain of events that leads to chaos in her kingdom.
Who’s in it? The voices of Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson,
Kelly Macdonald
Ultimate fate: This is the latest film from Pixar, which is
about all you need to know. It’s going to be a great adventure set in the
beautiful landscape of Olde Scotland. This film hasn’t had the buzz as previous
Pixar films, but I think it’s just been overshadowed this summer by the
juggernauts of The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises. Take the family
to this one and have fun!
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
The plot: In a word: dumb. Abraham Lincoln wasn’t just a
President of the United States of America. He also hunted vampires!
Who’s in it? Benjamin Walker has the thankless task of
portraying our 16th President.
Ultimate fate: Crash and burn. Do you remember the fad last
year, or maybe a few years ago by now, where authors were re-imagining classic
literature by injecting monsters? One of the most active “authors” on that
front was Seth Graham-Smith who brought us “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” (inexplicably
due in theaters next year). Well, not content to ruin literature, Graham-Smith
decided to try monkeying with the movie industry as well. Some knucklehead
studio head snapped up these film rights to a couple of his “novels” and dumped
a bunch of money into the projects. That was a mistake big guy! Every time I’ve
seen a trailer for this movie, I’ve heard snickering all over the theater.
Director Timur Bekmambetov made a name for himself in the outrageous and cool Wanted and has tried to re-outrageous
himself by taking on this film. The action looks insane and parts of the film could
actually be entertaining. Too bad only eight people are going to bother
watching it.
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
The plot: When an asteroid threatens to wipe out Earth, a
man finds himself alone after his wife bolts. He makes a cross-country trip to
find his high school main squeeze with his neighbor who decides to tag along.
Who’s in it? Steve Carell, Keira Knightly
Ultimate fate: This film is from the director of the sweet Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, so
it has promise. Carell is at his best when playing the down-on-his-luck guy,
and I love Knightly, so the cast looks good. I’m not sure why it’s releasing
against Brave, but this is the sort
of mid-budget film that does well with a long release and positive
word-of-mouth. Best of luck to it!
Where I’ll be this weekend: It’s Pixar all the way! It may
not have the hype of previous Pixar films, but Brave looks good to me, and I trust the Pixar brand.
Week of June 29, 2012
Magic Mike
The plot: Male strippers on a rampage.
Who’s in it? Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Olivia Munn,
Matthew McConaughey
Ultimate fate: I know I had some of you at ‘male stripper’. It’s
pretty wild to think that a film whose plotline is basically ‘experienced
stripper teaches young stripper’ is getting a wide release. Especially when
that film stars one of 2012’s breakout stars in Channing Tatum. I guess Tatum actually
was a male stripper at one point, which explains how he broke out in the dance
film Step Up (fly moves, yo!). I’m
perplexed about how/why this film got made, but I’m guessing the ladies will
appreciate.
Madea’s Witness Protection
The plot: A Wall Street banker accused of a Ponzi scheme
hides out with good ol’ Aunt Madea
Who’s in it? Tyler Perry
Ultimate fate: It’s been all of six months, so naturally
it’s time for another Tyler Perry film. This guy cranks out movies at an
astonishing pace. I’ve never watched one, but the sheer volume of Perry films
out there will ensure that I’ll see one eventually. There is a dedicated
audience for his films, and there doesn’t seem to be much slowing him down. I
think at some point we’ll see Tyler Perry saturation, but for now that train
keeps rolling on.
Ted
The plot: A man finally decides to grow up and leave behind
his teddy bear. Of course, his teddy bear is a foul-mouthed animated bear who
isn’t interested in breaking up the relationship with his good friend.
Who’s in it? Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, and the voice of
Seth MacFarlane
Ultimate fate: Seth MacFarlane is bringing us a live-action
comedy about a slacker guy and a pot-smoking teddy bear. Somehow that sounds
about right. MacFarlane is a funny writer, and his Family Guy show remains ever popular. Now we get to see if he can
get away from the short, funny, pop-culture references and carry a full-length
film. I love Wahlberg and think he has some good acting chops. I’m optimistic
that this will be a fun comedy, but I’m a little worried that the gimmick might
run thin by the end of the film.
Beasts of the Southern Wild (limited release)
The plot: Bizzare. A little girl down in the Louisiana delta
goes in search of her mother when her father’s health fades. There also are
some weird prehistoric creatures called aurochs that are running around.
Who’s in it? Quvenzhane Wallis, Dwight Henry
Ultimate fate: This movie is notable because it’s been
getting rave reviews for its originality and beauty. It’s been on a tear
through the festival circuit and won several awards, most recently at Sundance.
It’s a fantasy film that apparently captures the imagination and wonder of a
six-year-old girl and uses the backdrop of the Mississippi River to wonderful
effect. Think Where the Wild Things Are, and
you’ll have an idea about what to expect.
Where I’ll be this weekend: It might be worth checking out Ted this weekend. I’m curious to see if
MacFarlane can pull off the feature film comedy bit. If Beasts of the Southern Wild comes near me, I’ll see that, but I
suspect this film will have a very limited release.
Movie of the Month: As if I have to say it, Prometheus. I’m ready for a proper
sci-fi/horror film from one of the greatest directors of our time. I’ll be at
the IMAX screening at midnight. I might have to see it a couple of times in
theaters before all is said and done. If you’re not down for an R-rated sci-fi/horror
flick, then Brave should be pretty
amazing too.
Which of these films sound most appealing to you? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter!
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