Each month, I will discuss the major movie releases, and maybe a few smaller ones, if I find them noteworthy, to give you guys an idea about what to expect at your local Cineplex. I’ll also tell you which movies I’ll check out and which ones I’ll be avoiding at all costs.
Week of November 4, 2011
Tower Heist
The plot: A billionaire owner of a luxury condominium unit loses the life savings of his workers in a Ponzi scheme. A rag-tag group of employees decides to turn the tables and steal the billionaire’s stash of $20 million he keeps hidden in his penthouse.
Who’s in it: Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick, Precious
Ultimate fate: Tower Heist is directed by Brett Ratner, the guy who brought you Rush Hour, and stars Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy so you know that this one’s going to be a light affair. Expect silliness and action in a shallow but moderately entertaining movie.
A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas
The plot: The stoner comedy boys return for their third adventure, this time reuniting for some Christmastime hijinks to replace a torched Christmas tree and, I’m guessing here, smoke lots of weed.
Who’s in it? Harold, Kumar, Neil Patrick Harris
Ultimate fate: The Harold and Kumar brand of comedy has never been my thing, but apparently these guys are good at what they do. The 3D is a big seller for this installment, as the trailers have made abundantly clear. I am curious to hear from the people who smoke a bowl and then go see this aggressive IN YOUR FACE 3D movie. I’m hoping for some epic freak-outs in the theater.
Where I’ll be this weekend: It’s a light week for new releases, and neither of these really does much for me. I’ll probably stay home and catch up on my backlog of DVDs.
Week of November 11, 2011
Immortals
The plot: King Hyperion and his minions set out to release the Titans and overthrow the Gods of Olympus. A young man, Theseus, vows to avenge his parents murder at the hands of Hyperion’s horde.
Who’s in it? Mickey Rourke and a bunch of muscle-bound dudes
Ultimate Fate: It has a strong 300 vibe with the visual style, emphasis on muscles and action, and epic battle of mythical personas. It should be fun to watch a whole swarm of fighters squaring off in giant battles in fantastical locations and Mickey Rourke chew scenery as the evil king.
J. Edgar
The plot: This is a biopic of J. Edgar Hoover portraying his rise to one of the most powerful men in U.S. history, head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Who’s in it? Leonardo DiCaprio
Ultimate fate: This is a Clint Eastwood directed film and Leonardo really wanted to see this film made, so it should be a solid drama piece. They are going to put out a good product. Hoover was a fascinating guy, a power-hungry egomaniac who had dirt on everybody who was anybody while also going to great lengths to cover up his own secrets. This could be a really good film.
Jack and Jill
The plot: Adam Sandler’s annoying twin sister (played by Adam Sandler, sigh) comes to visit for Thanksgiving and stays longer than anticipated. Somehow Al Pacino is involved as a love interest to the sister. I’m sure Al can do better than Adam Sandler in drag, but who am I to judge?
Who’s in it? Adam Sandler and Adam Sandler
Ultimate fate: It’s an Adam Sandler film in which he plays the fairly normal brother and also the borderline insane twin sister. He doesn’t play Al Pacino though. Al handles that himself. Expect a lot of zaniness and ridiculous humor. It will probably be filled to the brim with dumb moments, but that’s what Adam Sandler fans expect, so that’s what Adam Sandler fans get.
Melancholia
The plot: Justine and Michael celebrate their wedding against the backdrop of family tension. Meanwhile, a planet named Melancholia is on a collision course with Earth. Yeah, it’s an odd premise, but I’m really excited. Why, you ask?
The people: Directed by Lars von Trier, Kirsten Dunst
Ultimate fate: Lars on Trier films are visceral experiences. You can feel a von Trier film gripping you as you watch, and then it sticks around in the dark corners of your brain long after the credits roll. His most recent film, Antichrist, was a primal deconstruction of love, lust, and loss, and is one of the most incredible films I’ve seen. The guy is an artist, so expect a compelling story married with stunning visuals in a true cinematic experience. He is working with his largest budget to date, and the trailer showcases the film’s beautiful setting and style. Plus, he has a knack for getting his leads to undress, so Kirsten Dunst fans should be happy. It opens in limited release this weekend, and I just hope that it makes it to my area someday.
Where I’ll be this weekend: For the second weekend in a row, I might not make it to the theater. Melancholia is a possibility, but with its slow rollout, it probably won’t play near me. J. Edgar has enough quality people behind it that it should be worth a look. However, the real reason I’ll stay inside all weekend is because The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim releases Friday. I’ll lock myself away Friday afternoon, fire up the Xbox, and won’t come out until Monday morning.
The week of November 18, 2011
Happy Feet Two
The plot: The loveable penguins get trapped in the ice and it’s up to Mumble to find an escape route.
Who’s in it? The voices of Elijah Wood, Robin Williams, Hugo Weaving, Pink, Sophia Vergera
Ultimate fate: It’s the penguins we know and love back for another adventure. It will be filled with ultra cute characters, singing and dancing to slightly dated pop songs, and, most likely, thinly veiled commentary on the effects of global warming, ocean pollution, or overfishing.
Twighlight: Breaking Dawn Part 1
The plot: Yeah, I have no idea what’s going on in these films, and don’t really care to find out. From what I can gather from the trailers for this movie I saw playing in front of good movies I saw, some chick gets married and then her werewolf husband knocks her up with some sort of weird mutant fetus hybrid that tries to tear her apart from the inside out. Whatever. All of these films look dumb to me.
Who’s in it? I don’t care.
Ultimate fate: It’ll be a huge hit, but not because it’s quality cinema. All the down-on-their-luck, single, thirty-something-year-old girls everywhere who are still holding out hope to find real love with the man of their dreams will generate truckloads of money for the midnight shows of this film. You couldn’t drag me to see this dreck if you tried. Clearly, I’m not the target audience for this movie.
Where I’ll be this weekend: Probably still playing Skyrim.
Week of November 25, 2011
The Muppets
The plot: The Muppet Theater is going under, but all the Muppets are too busy with their solo careers to know or care. One of their biggest fans decides to get the gang back together to put on a fundraiser so that they might save their legacy.
Who’s in it? Jason Segel, Amy Adams, The Muppets, lots of stars in cameos.
Ultimate fate: It’s a freaking Muppets movie! I hope this one rocks it out, proves the Muppets can still be a viable franchise, and spawns a half dozen more Muppet movies. Unfortunately, this week is packed with two other movies targeted to younger audiences. All these films will likely split the pot such that none of them are likely to make killer profits. Still, it’s been a long time, and I’m excited to see the crew back in action. It’s going to be funny, silly, a little tongue-in-cheek, and will have more than a few musical numbers.
Hugo
The plot: Based on the story “The Invention of Hugo Cabret”, this film follows young Hugo as he uses a key left to him by his father to unlock adventure in a Paris train station.
Who’s in it? All the advertisements are too busy letting everyone know that this is the first motion-capture and 3D film by Martin Scorsese to mention who the actors are.
Ultimate fate: Scorsese has apparently embraced the tech for this film and has produced a very detailed, imaginative world. It’s also his first attempt at making a children’s film. I know nothing about the book on which it’s based, but I know an excited and motivated Scorsese can shoot a good film.
Arthur Christmas
The plot: Santa’s son, Arthur, discovers a present that gets left behind on Christmas Eve. He takes it upon himself to deliver the package and save someone’s Christmas.
Who’s in it? The voices of James McAvoy, Hugh Laurie, Bill Nighy and others
Ultimate fate: It looks like it could be a cute, family-friendly, animated adventure movie. Unfortunately, it’s going against two other kid-centric films that could blow it out of the water.
A Dangerous Method
The plot: A story of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung in the early days of psychiatry. The film focuses on a series of unorthodox experiments Jung conducted on a young woman he treated for hysteria and the relationship between the two renowned psychiatrists.
Who’s in it? Directed by David Cronenberg, Viggo Mortensen, Michael Fassbender, Kiera Knightley
Ultimate fate: Cronenberg is known for making some of the best horror films ever (The Fly, Scanners) but he also makes some very compelling, non-horror films as well (A History of Violence, Eastern Promises). You can still expect some intense moments in this story of dueling psychiatrists who are trying to not only identify the best ways to treat patients, but who also are attempting to legitimize the entire field. There are some talented people involved in this movie, and the early buzz has been good. It should make for a nice drama.
Where I’ll be this weekend: I’ll be rounding up anyone and everyone I can find and taking a big group to see The Muppets. I’m excited to see them back on the big screen and am confident that it will be a great time.
Pick of the Month: The Muppets, clearly. It’s about time we had these guys back on the big screen again.
I hope this helps you plan your weekends for the next month!
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